19

 17.09.2021

Dingolo kivabe kete jacche, majhe majhe nijeo bujina. Shudu calender er patai ekti ekti cross othche R mrittur khub kache cole jacchi - etotokoi kebol bujtei pari. Budh shokti vuta hoye geche.

Aj amar mayer mritobarshiki - i mean aei dinei ma'ke hariyechilam 4 bochor age. Sobe matro ekhane esechi,matro 3 mash hoy. Tai jeteo parlam na sesh dekha dekhte. Ajo amake kure kure khai sei muhurto. Ek jibone duti boro aghat amake elemelo kore diyeche. Aei morur deshe, aei dui-shift duty kore kore jotoi cesta kori sob vhule thakte, ta r hoina amar.

Samanno ektu obosor kingba ghumer birotiteo sob auto reply houya shuru hoye jai. Ki korle je ami aei srity er vandar theke mukti pabo? Mrittu chara ki r kono way nei?

18

 05.18.2021

Onek onek din por elam amar dingulite. Lokkho korlam aei year e ekbaro ashini :-O Sotti, nijeke tahole aei life e guchiye niyechi, cepe rakhte rakhte nijeke boba bodhir baniye felechi. Ahh ki chilam R ki holam!

Goto koek din age amar birthday gelo. Ebari maybe pothom bday er din tumar sathe kotha hoini (chat e). Ebari j tumi permanently tar sathe RAK te thaka start korecho. Eto kache amar, chat er proyojon nei r. Amar nissas R tumar nissas to kub kachakachi, shudu ek deyal er parthokko. Ecche korlei hbgnj er basar samner moto oki diye ashte pari kintu, nah. R noi tumake emotionally blackmail. Kingba un-wanted situation e niye asa. Ekhon tumi onek porinoto, taina?

Eid gelo, tao tumake eid mubarak bolar jonno o gelam na. Bday kingba Eid, dingulite age at least ekbar holeo amar kotha tumar mone porto. Ami jani ebari prothom mone koroni. Ami korechi kintu, nijeke lukiye rekhechi. Asole, eto kache thaki bolei besi kore nijeke control korte hocche. Amar dara jate kono vhul na hoi.

Amar dui cousine asche and apatoto amar ekhanei oteche. Job holei cole jabe. Papers joma hoyeche. Sotti bolte amar present position oder samne cole ashate khub kharap lagche. Etodin to vabto vaia onek good ekta position e ache. Ebar to dekhei fello, kopal amar.

Besi kichudin dorei tumar sathe kotha bolbo bolbo kore bolchina. Kemon acho ki korla aei typer kothar majhe nijeke khubi hotash lage, khuje firi sei tumake. Pabona vebei r o niras, mood off r o barbe bolei durotto. Aei durotto jodi tumake r o present life e valo rakhe, tobe tai hok na.

Koto kichu vabi kintu, ekhon r ager moto likhte boshle likha hoina. Choto choto gotona golo tumake bola hoina, tumar mridu sashon kingba adure sor r shuna hoina. Akkhepe pure jai eka, hath bariye tumake dorte jeye sopneo ekhon dorte parina. Nikosh kalo adhar dekhi, dekhi ami shuru toliyei jacchi.

Tumi valo thako, sobaike valo rakho. Valobashi ekhono tumake babu. 

17

 14.08.2020

Onek kotha joma hoyeche, tai fire ashlam. Onek din hridoy cokher pata japsa hoi bristy nameni, aj namlo bolei fire ashlam. Corona sobar cinta cetona change koreche, life style change koreche, shudu amar noi.

Kichudin age Kurbanir Eid gelo. Tar ager din tuar sathe kichu kotha holo. Ekhon to mashe 2-3 barer beshi kotha hoina. Tao etake kotha na bole valo-mondo jiggesh kora bola cole. Jei deyal tumi sokto kore gore tulecho, tar samne amito nossi. R kichui korar sokti or ecche nei, nijeke to ami durbol vebe niyechi sei onek bochor agei.

2017 theke 2020, aei j poth gurlo, dui prithibite amra duijon. Capa kosto golow majhe majhe odoirjo hoye jai R cokh diye janan dei, ami supto achi. Ekhono tumake chere jai ni. Keo keo pare vhule thakte Na keo keo na, maximum e pare. Ami sei minimum manush budhoi je etogolo bochor geleo ekhono tumar chobi dekhi potiniyoto, kotha boli anmone kingba vebe jai sei dinguli.

Amar dinguli - emoni robe. Dur theke hotasha kingba otripti jore porbe R meki valo manush or valo achi dekhiye jabo jotodinjobonika potito na hoi amar. Tumar ekhane ashar somoi goniye asche, r to mone hoi kichudin. Eto kache thekeo sei 2016 er moto hoyto dekhbo lukiye cukiye, fire pabo ki sei cokher shanti? Na, bolbo na dekha dao or dekhechi. Abar ki paglami tabere jabe?

Aei vebei excited hoi abar porokkhone nijeke mounto thakar jonno boli. Amito kokhonoi tumar jibon k oguchalo korte caini, nijer jobon tocnoc hoye jak. Bola jai, aei etatei success holam jibone. Oboseshe tumake sukhi dekhe sosthi pai. Taito duty niye besto thaki, jate timing na mile, thakte pari tumar moto pathor hoye. Jani parina, tai to somoi-osomoi knock kore Justtalk er duniyai.

Babu, valo thako. Tayat, Zeysa sostho and valo manush hok. Tumar jibone r jate kosto na ase. Emon happy thako, always.

16

19.03.2020

Caridike sobai vishon atongke ache. Corona Virus er jonno. Hotat ki neme aslo prithibite. Eto eto medicine but, etar kono medicine nei. Tao amra onek kichu eta vebei koto ohongkar kori.

Kaj bondo, home quarinetine kore rekheche sobaike. Aeivabe shuye bose ki somoi kate. Sobar theke nijeke bichinno korar result hocche etai, emon muhurte nijeke boddo eka lage. Keo nei ektu kotha bolar, apon kore kichu share korar. Jeno sotti e sonnashi hoye pore achi ekhane.

Onekdin dorei tumar sathe kotha nei. Kichukhon agei jante parlam, barite theke esecho 4-5 din. Tarmane oni bari giyechen. Amio chuti peyechi, but, ami kothai jabo? Tumar jonno to sob e chere diyechi? R tumi valoi acho, permanently settle at last. Pichutan or srity bole kichui nei. Jodio borabori tumi nijeke control korete parta. So, ebarer beparta permanently hobe, etai onumeo chilo.

Thak, seisob kotha bole ki hobe. 2 babes niye and take niye valo thako. Kostogolo amari thak, hoyto tumake valobeshe etai amar paona chilo aei jibone. Valo thakuk sobai, tumi valo thako. 

15

22.02.2020

Onek din por likhete boshlam. Jodio temon likhar moto kichui nei amar. Ami to sei kobei nijeke ek pathor baniye felechi, shudu kosto boye beracchi.

Onek din por tumar sathe eto kotha holo. Ami dekhechi ekhon mase hoyto max. 3-5 bar kotha hoi jodio ta kotha noi, kusol binimoy bola cole. Tao valo ektu chat to hoy, kichuta to porosh lage.

Duty te chilam, tobe goto kichudin kajer presssure kom. Tai vablam tumake onno somy to paina, dekhi moddho rate pai naki - sei vebei knock and tumar reply. Eta seta kotha bole jante parlam, tumi ashar jonno preparartion niccho. Mane holo amaro ekhan theke cole jabar somoi hoye ashche. Ami agei decide kore rekhechilam, tumi ashlei tumar basar eto kach theke sei ager jaigai cole jabo. Jodio kosto barbe,seita sorire PLUS tumi ekhanei tar sathe eta vebe to r o kosto pabo. Tai dure giye kosto paoa e valo.

Kothai jeno porechilam, Prithiba ta goal, so hut kore dekha hoye gele tumi problem e porba plus amio. Tai aei cinta, dure sore jaoa. Tao valo hobe, tumi R ami r o kache eki deshe eta to feel kore shanti pabo. Hahaha, ki sob vachi dekhecho? Etai ami, tumar jonno ajo paglami ta gelona. Shoto sorirer eto pain niyeio tumar kotha shunle or vablei, 50% valo hoye jai ami.

Thak, tumi valo acho tai thako, etai pratthona kore jai and jabo. Tumar valo thakatei to ekhon amar shanti babu. Valo thako sob somoi. 

14

Sironamhin - 14

R o ekta bochor katiye dilam tumake chara! Hmm babu, k boleche parbona? Tumi ami dui jonei t boltam,dekho thiki perechi. Tumar jiboner gotir samne R caini speed braker hoye bada dite. Taito din k din nijeke kosto diye tumake aj tumi banate ceyechi. Sofol to hoyechi, taina?

Maybe etai amar aei bochorer sesh amar buker majher kotha share kora. Aj sokale ghum theke otheo hotati anmone vabchilam, kivabe katiye dilam ekti bochor. Goto bochor November e maybe Unar biye hoyechilo, tarpor theke duijonei r o dure sore gelam. Aei choto bontar jonno kingba or kotha vebei to tumi samne agiye ashte paroni jedin ami tumar kache tumar ami hoye hath bariye diyechilam. Khub mone pore sei dingolor kotha.

Mone pore tumake pothom moner kotha bolar rater kotha, tumar sathe pothom dekha or sesh dekha, sobi ajo cokher samne vese othe. Hoyto ami tumake niyei achi bidhai amar emon hoi. Tumar to aj sei somoi or ecche nei, tai to nijer sei ager chobi khujo nijeke ager moto kore jodi ektu vabte paro tai. Sedin dibo vebeo deini, amar sobto muchei felecho, aei pic golo deya maneto ekhane ese ekbarei hariye giyeo amar poticchobi khuje nebar cesta korba. Ami jani boka, valo korei tumake cini. Taito ruge-suke bethai nil hoyeo tumake valo dekhte ceyechi.

Janina porer bochor ki hobe. Hoyto r o dure cole jabo amra, amari dinguli shudu britha asfalon korei jabe jotodin dehe pran thakbe. Amar to kosto r o prappo ache, cokhe na dekhi shune holeo kosto amake peyei jete hobe. Khuriye khuriye buk vora dirgosash niye rutine mepe amar jibon aeivabei katabe boleito nimisei amake sopner ochu pahar theke aei morur prantore achre felecho, taina babu?

Nah ekhono 5 ti bochor o hoini, r o baki. 5-10 bochor to tumar kono problem chilona jokhon amake kotha diyechile kingba jokhon pothom deshe aso. Mone ache tumar? Nah mone rakhleto aj tumi emon hotena, amakeo sonnashi hoye jete hotona. Bochor sesh, tai sesh korchi onujug. Porer bochor jodi na bachi kingba agamikal.

Theke theke buker majkhane cincine betha jokhoni tumar kotha vabi, ekbare na parlei tumake soron kori. 4-7 din pore ekbar hoyto chat hoi, aeivabei to ekti bochor katiye dilam, taina babu? Aei digsash kingba buker bethar kono sesh nei, colche colbe typer.

Valo thako Babu. Z & T k niyei onek valo thako. Ami amar moto korei dur theke tumar sukh dekhe sukhi thakar apran cesta caliye jabo.

13

19.10.2019

Dekhte dekhte din kete jacche. Kotodin holo aei moru prantore. Nijeke morovumir oter moto ek klanto kongkalashar lage. Moner majhe osposto sritygolo sarakhon kure kure khai. Keo nei, tumi nei  sei tumi r amake niye ektoko cinta korte. Emon keno holo amar sathe?

Goto masher 12 tarikhe notun othiti eseche tumar vhubon jure. Shune jotona kushi hoyechi, taro besi shanti peyechi tumi valo acho eta shune. Hokna eto obohela amake, valobasi bolei ekhono shuneo happy hoi. Hoyto ebar r tumar char nei, ekahne ashtei hobe.1 year er majhei. Valoi hobe r o kache tobu onek dure eto jabo, tao shanti tumi thakba eki sohore. Vhul korei hoytoba kono ekdin tumake dekhe felbo kono ek jaigai. Amake to cinte parbena, kintu feel ki korte parba ami achi ase-pase.

Ki kotha theke ki bolchi. Asole ek geye jibon theke hotat amar dingulite ese ager ami jege othchi. Ager ami jagroto holeo sei tumi to nei, tai ager amar o value nei. Shudu vabi,ki theke ki holo, ki shuni dekhi tumar kach theke. Amar bisshoyer sesh seto bohu agei hoyeche, jedin tumi bolechile ami abar Pgnt. Bissash korte kosto hocchilo, onicchakrito theke ecchakrito vabei ebar amar kobor hoyeche. Hahaha.

Na, valo lagchena, valolagena. Kichui sojjo hoina. Ondokar roomer majhe shudu lukiye thakatai valo lage, tai niye din kate, katbe and sob sesh hobe kono ekdin. Totodin valo thakar kotha shuniye dekhiye jao babu, valo thako.

12

24.05.2019

Din to jacche, tar sathe moner kostogolo kingba ososthota golo barche. Er budhoi kono sesh nei, taito vhule thakar apran cesta. Tobou din seshe sei abar puranu srity der sathe lukuchuri colchei . . 

ব্যস্ততা আমারো আছে,
তবু সারাদিনের কাজ শেষে
নিজের একান্ত মুহূর্তটাতে
জানতে ইচ্ছে হয় -
তুমি কেমন আছো?
ক্লান্তি আমারো লাগে,
তবু হাজারো ক্লান্তির পরেও
দেখতে ইচ্ছে হয় -
তোমায় নিয়ে লেখা
উপাখ্যানটার কতোদূর হলো?
অভিমান আমারো হয়,
তবু সব ভুলে গিয়ে অন্তরালে
ফোনটা হাতে নিয়ে দেখতে ইচ্ছে হয়
তোমার কোনো ফোন কল অথবা
এস এম এস যদি পাই।
অভিযোগ আমারো আছে,
তবু আমি এটাই ভাবি
প্রানের চেয়ে প্রিয় মানুষটাকে
নিয়ে কার কাছে অভিযোগ চাই?
শুধু নেই যেটা তা হলো - অনুশোচনা;
সত্যি আমার কোনো অনুশোচনা নেই,
কোনো আফসোস নেই,
নেই কারণ- তোমাকে ভালোবাসার
কোনো কমতি নেই।
আমি মন ভরে আমার সবটুকু দিয়ে
তোমাকে ভালোবেসেছিলাম,
তাই নিজের আয়নায় নিজের কাছে
নিজে নিরেট স্বচ্ছ,
আর তোমার যে প্রতিচ্ছবিটি

সেটা অনেকটা ঝাপসা আর অস্পষ্ট!

Japsa hoye asha srity golo kostogolokeo ki osposto korte parena? Tumar moto valo thakar ovinoi korate assist korte parena? Ouff!  

11

28.04.2019

Sorir ebong mon ek sathei onek kharap. Besh kichudin thekei colche emon. Janina etodin bade keno mone abar jhor oteche. Sorirer kotha to bole r lav e nei.

Chele houyata o asolei jamelar. Aei koidine seita besi feel korchi. Buker kosto golo asru hoye jorate parle valo hoto, seita o parchina. Khub dom bondo lagche, khali dirgosash ashche. Oxyzen er ovab, tumar ovab. Tumi ager basai esecho koidin hocche. R amar shudu sei srity golo mone porche.

Hoyto tumaro mone porche. R tai aei kodin amar theke budhoi aei karonei r o besi dure dure thakcho. Tumar basar samne shudu chute jete mon caiche. Mone hocche, ami cailei pari, sondha bela thik ager moto tumar basar samne hatahati. Tumi janalar pase ese bosba, R ami dur theke tumake dekhe cole jabo amar sei room e. Mone ache tumar, ami nich theke tumake thiki dekhtam but, ami ondhokare thaktam bole tumi amake dekhte petana. Aj sotti ami ondhokare hariye gechi. Tumake sob somoi dekhi, tumi amake dekhte kingba feel korte parona.

Nijeke khub osthir lagche. Ekhaneo shantite nei. Jamela amake charena R tumar kosto seto amar nitto songhi. Manush je eto pressure niye tikte pare, ami nijeke diyei vabi. Ki chilam, ki korchi or ki porinotir dike ami jacchi. Doctorer kache giyechilam. Koekdin dore blodd jacche, test korate bollo. Janina abar ki news opekkha korche. Hoyto sesher bashir sur ashte shuru koreche. Tumake bolbo ki, na thak. Shuru te tumi chila, majeo tumi chila, amar seshe na hoi tumi naiba thakle :'(

Valo thako babu, emon kore amake ignore kore sukhi hou.

*aj oboseshe amar location ta share kore dilam tumar sathe.

10

05.04.2019

Jacche dinguli ebong amio bechi achi. Eta janan ditei amar diary er buke fire asa. Asolei to jacche dinguli. Vore theke rat R amar jibon theke ekti diner somapti. Ocena jibon amar.

Maje maje amar puranu dinguli amake nara dei. Jake poti rate vebe gumate jetam, ekhono jai. Kintu, ek onimises durotte se nijeke niye geche. Se cailei sob pare. Eta to ajker bisoy na. Sei shuru thekei se ja ceyeche tai korte pereche. R ami? Borabori or kotha vebe nijeke kosto diye gechi, ekhono dicchi. Ami buji, tothapi tar kotha vablei nijeke change korar kono ecchai jagena. Taito colche ek pa ek pa kore sesh diner dike amar nisthur somorthoner proyash gonona kora.

Onek kichu vabi ami. Sei onek age thekei, sad gaan gulu amake khub nara dito, ami shunteo like kortam. Kingba ami jokhoni kobita likhtam, seita dekha jeto sad kono poem hoye geche. Kotobar tmk sunate jeye boka sunechi, mone ache tumar? Aj sei tumi 2nd wicket er opekkhai acho. R ami shudu dirgosash fele tumar jonno shuvo kamona kore jai. Asolei odvhut. 

Jano, ekhon ektai kotha vebe nijeke santona diye rakhi. Seita ki tumi jano, valobaso tumi amake. Din palte geche, tai nijeke khub jotone palte niyecho. Ami e parlam na, khoti ki. Ami chele bolei probem nei, hmm eta ekdin tumi e amake bolechila. Sob bujo tumi, shudu aei amakei bujlana. Kosto, onek kosto hoi, etai amake aghat kore potiniyoto.

Valo thakuk sobai. Tumar agami sopno puron hok. Er cheye besi ki r bolte pari?

Ekhon nijeke shudu eka lage!

Caridike baronto sopnora hase
Bimutro rat kade nil batase.
Here gechi aei ami
jiboner kache
Duronto potivara
pore ache nice.
Hese bole sagorer nil jolorasi
Nobojatoker mukhe jodi pai hasi.
Mrito kono bayuler
atta ta kade
Hotashai bukh badha
amar buke.
Cayer cup hate potidini vabi
Jibonta chai makha akasheri chobi.

9

03.03.2019

Goto kichudin jor jacche amar opor diye. Notun company, notun location, notun working hours, sob miliye ek navissash obostha. Vaggish aei koidin sorir ta kaj korar moto chilo. New kaj ta sikhte hoyto r o ek week lagbe. Ki j hocche r kun pothe jacchi ami?

Ekhane asar pormane new company te, old company takei valo mone hocche. At least eto porisromer kaj chilona. Tao gor pura goru jedikei jai, megh neme ase, thik temni amr kopale aei kosto e budh hoi likha ache. Taito shudu chute colechi, gontobbohin vabe.

Aei jaiga ta onek thanda. Gotoal r o ekta suyetar kinte baddo hoyechi. Ekdom sagorer sathe kaj. Thik tmr basa theke hospital er samner moto durotto. Sarakhon hu hu kore batash boi, r amake hi hi kore konkoniye jomai. Amaro maybe tmr problem peyeche, shit amake narani dei besi. Taito tmakei besi dakchi ekhane asar por theke.

Khub tmk, ammuke and amar past mone pore. Ki holo amar sathe, somoi golo kivabe koi niye aslo. Hote partam onek kichu, hote parto onnorokom. Aj amai kothai ene ki life lead koracche. Vaggo kemon kore jiboner gotipoth palte dei.

Ektu olos somoi pele aeisob cinta mathai oki dei R amak tmr kotha, tmk dakar kotha shoron koriye dei. Bam cokh tate betha, fule ache. Tao likhchi. Asole kichui to amar dingulite likha hoina. Amar dingulito tmk chara kobei biborno hoye geche. Aei sorir namok kacha niye shudu jibon take boye beracche. Khub osohai lage tmr kotha vable. Taito tmk sei cena name deke deke shanti khuje berai. Ekhoni ki bujo tmi tmk daki ami?

Valo thako, sobai valo thakuk. Jei poth ami beche niyechi nijei, sei pothe amar pothcola r o doirjoshil hok :(

8

24.02.2019

Onekdin por asha holo. Asole aei majher dinguli kivabe keteche ta nijeo janina. Kaj othoba hospital e chutachuti. Tar sathe owshud namok ek jontrona to joriye ache bai jiboner jonno. Kromosho nijer thekeo nije hariye jacchi. R taito amar dinguli o amake kromoso haracche.

Keno janina, sob somoi barebar amar sathei hoi. Jokhoni vabi aei hoyto ektu sosthi elo jibone, thik tokhoni tumar jhore abar nijeke chonnochara, dishehara kore feli. Ek ekta news jotota na dukkho boye ane, tarceye besi koster pagol hashi ontor theke mukhe niye ase R bole valobasha emoni hoi. Jotoi ami boli, na situation emon tai emon hoyeche, tokhoni mon bole r koto, r koto nijeke probodh dibo. Ami nijeo janina, tai hoyto sob elemelo hoye jacche caripasshe.

Sotti, khub vabi aei tmk R amar sei tmk. Sob srity golo klano mone ekhon r anonder bristy joraina. Caridike shudu dirgosash, cokher jol o furiye geche, shudu akash gono kalo meghe dekhe thake. Aei mone hoi bristy hobe, hoina ekhon r. Cokhgolo rokto cokkho hoye tarao klanto janan dei. Sobai ek somoi pichiye jai, ami keno emon vabei agiye colechi?

Amio vabi, tumar moto. Ami jid dore boshe achi. Nah, amai asole etatei ovvossto hoye porechi. Saririk kosto golo amake jotona betha dei, manoshik kosto amake vitore vitore potiniyoto pain diye jacche. Ekhono tumake chara kichui vabte parina. Kintu, ebar r tumake ami didhai or dumona korte caina, jodio jani tumio nei sei tumi. Kintu, tao ami maneito ek moho, kokhon abar ki hoi, taito onek tai dure thaka. Kache na thekeo je soda songsporshe thake, take to virtual jogote bibroto korar mane hoina. Amio jani, tao jokhoni na pari tokhoni dak deoya hoye jai.

Ami abar sei 25 bochorer dosshi balok hoye jai tumar obohela pele. Eta budhoi amar rokte mishe geche. Taito goto etogolo din nijeke r o besi jamelai niye chutachuti korchi. Tao tumake kichui bola hoina. Tumi acho tumari majhe, aei valobashar manush tar kotha e hoyto mone porena ekhon r. Emono hobe or hoi, vabtei obak lage. Ami nijei soda nijer poti obak hoi, kemon kore ekjon manush pare pura life style change kore dite. Na, bujbena tumi. Keo bujena, bujbena.

Onekdin por ashlam, tai prolap boke gelam. Tumi sostho thako, new manush j asbe sei sostho thakuk, tumar mukhe hasi r o bsitriti koruk. Hoyto ami nao thakte pari, tumar jonno sorboda shuvo kamona thakbe. R amar jonno pratthona korbe, amar moto jate r karo na hoi jibon.

Valo thakuk sobai, prithibi tumi sobaike valo rakho, kosto paoya manush golo doirjo dore mrittur prohor gunar opekkhai na rekhe hotat niye jao :'(

7

29.12.2018

Onek din por ashlam. Beche achi ta janan dite - amar dingulite. Dekhte dekhte r ekta bochor sesher dar-prante ami. R o ekta dirgo-nissash niye katiye deya 365 diner somapti. R koto baki?

Keno megh ase, Hridoyo akashe,

Tumare dekhite deina;

Majhe majhe to bo dekha pai,

Cirodin keno paina?

Asolei aei topto surjer deshe majhe majhe megh hoye tumi aso, amake vijiye abar cole jao. Amake r o ekta grissho trisna niye beche thakar prerona dite hoyto. Janina aeivabe kivabe katbe or katacchi. R koto?

Sobai valo thakuk, er ceye samner bochore caoyar moto to kichui nei amar. Ami chonnochara, aei jibon to amari beche neya. Ososthotar sathe lukiye -bachiye jotodin jaoya jai, tai jete thaki. Kinto r koto ta janina?

Tumake khub mone porche, emon mon kharaper somoi tumake ekhono thik ager motoi daki. Shunte ki pao? Valo achoto? Valo thako, sobai valo thakuk cena-jana sobai.

Valo acho to?

23.08.2018

Onekdin por somoi holo amar kichu likhar. Diner por din mathai eto kichu jome, tao ekhane likha hoina. Amito hariye gechei, tai amar kthagulu Amar Dinguli theke kromosho hariye jacche.

Aei moruvhumir buke amar 2nd eid katalam. EID mane jodi hoy anonndo, tobe janina aei kemon eid amar jibone ami par korchi. Special day mane to amar kadhe sokol puranu srity ra vhir kore. Kaj nei, tai amio tader naracar kori, laptop e chobigolo dekhe nijeke depression er kinarai niye jay. Cokher koner panira cholchol kore, nirobe jore pore. R keo nei amar asru kingba kosto hole ter pabe, Jiggesh korbe, ki mon kharap?

Duty Room > Room Duty = etai amar jibon. Shudu kaj amake baciye rekheche. Aei j kaj nei bole, koster vhut amake chepe dore ache. Taito shudui besto thakar apran cesta kori. Tumi amake prai bolta, ajaira thako j taito amake vabo, kaj koro. Tayat jokhon holo, tokhono bolta. Sob ekhono amar cokher samne vashe. Koto sopno, promise, sob amra ki sohojei vhule jai!

R koek mash pore kingba porer mashei main city te amar cole jabar kotha ekhan theke. Mone ache tumr park e berate giyechile ekdin tar sathe. Amar khub ecche sei park e, sei bench ta ektu chuye dekhar. Hoyto sigroi chute parbo. Kingba oi market, jeitate tumar pichu niye chilo ekta chele, amake bolta R hasta. Sokal, bikel balcony te kingba bed e shuye call dita, mone ache tumar? Sob vashche mathar opore amar.

Accha, tumi sotti valo achoto? Naki amar moto tumio soda valo acho amake dekhate cao? Age jao tumake kichu boltam, kintu sedin mana korar por tao off kore diyechi. Amar kono ovijug, ovhiman nei. Tumi, tumra, sobai valo acho eta dekhei ami koster majheo sothi feel kori. Taito ekhon r kotha baraina, besi kotha bolina. Tumar wish amr valo thaka, amio tai valo thakte try kori ami ekanto tumake niye. Amar r caoyar kichui nei.

Jeivabe amar din jacche, hoyto konodin nai hoye jabo. Hoyto bidai bolar somoi tokow pabona. Shudu sarthoka etai thakbe, tumake valo acho dekhe jete parchi kingba valo acho ta janbo. Jai hok amar, tumi valo theko. Valobashi ajo thik ageri moto. Tumar opoman kingba obohela soye jaoyar sokti pai oi valobasha theke. Jeita tumi kokhono bujoni kingba ami bujate parini Babu.

Cokh golo bidroho korche. Janina abar kobe ashbo kingba adhou asha hobe naki. Valo thako, sobai valo thakuk.

6

21.04.2018

Onek din por fire elam amar vubone. Koto kotha, Koto gotona bolar thake. Kichui r bola hoina. Sukhi manush kingba vabuk manush poricoye poricito ami sobar kache. Aei vindeshe ager ami k khuje paoa khub duskor aj!

Nah, r bolbona kichui. Beche achi etai thakuk ajker srity hoye. Sobai valo thakuk, se valo thakuk, sobar valo thakate jiboner sarthokota khuje neyar apran sadhona kore jacchi, jetei thakbo.

5

30.12.2017

Bochorer sesh likha likhchi, ami jani. Ekhon to ager moto ashai hoina. Bestotar owshud diye kolijar khotoke ghum pariye rakhar apran cesta cole. Tao rokte mangsher sorir ta majhe majhe bbidroho kore Amar dingulite amake firiye niye ashe. Aeivabe colche, hoyto colbe . . .

Ekti bochor. Amr Babu k chara katiye dilam, Amar moner songinike robotic vabe songho diye gelam. Abeg, onovhuti, srity sob kichu ekpashe rekhe somoi aj 1 year pore ene daar koriyeche. Ami aei ekti bochore shudu hariyechi. Pothome tumake, Tarpore nijeke, Erpore Ammuke, R ekebare seshe ese Babake. Sesher haranu manushta onekta tumar motoi. Prithinite ache tobu ekta durotto. Sob shune i bola jai aei bochor take? Amar aei jiboner ekta omor bochor, hahahaha.

Shuye shuye vabi R hashi. Sotti, age cokher kone pani cole ashto. Edaning Nah taro besi, vabte vabte hashi ashe thoter kinarai. Etake ki hashi bole? Tumi amake micka bolta, tahole micka hashi e hobe taina? Amar aei hashir araler dukkho keo bujbena, kaoke bujateo jaina. Dukkho golo shudu ekar hoi, khushi golo sobar. Tumake diye jei koster shuru ta to sesh hobar noi. Aei betha j amake boye berate hobe ammur kache jabar ag porjonto.

Ek somoyer amar jonno etto valobasha, etto kosto, sob korte para, shudui srity aj. R amar khetre? Kichui na korte para aj sob kichui korate pare amake diye. Ami ekhon hashte hashte tumake vebe jibon dite pari, somoi amake aj emon jaigai eneche. Kintu,sei manushta to aj onek dure. Aei ekta bochore amar theke se dure jabar pothe egiyeche R ami tar kache ashar pothe aei vindeshe somoi khepon korchi. Love and War e kokhono sesh bole kichu nei, shudu aei ashatei abar shurur opekkhai achi. Na hok, tao ekta asha na thakle to tumar sei Coward hoye jabo. Koto kichu vabte hoi amake!!!

Ekta bochore dekhechi onek kichu, hariyechi, praptir khatai kichui nei. Amar jiboner may be aei ekta year e shudu hariyechi. Vangar khelai ami pore gechi, Gorar khelai porboto aei jibone? Nah ta to hobar noi. Page of Sorrow < tar pristhai shudu dukkho thakbe aei j nijeri ojante likha hoye geche amar maddome. R Smiley Babu ta hoye geche bastob. Hahahaha :D

Morovhumir majhe jokho dula jhor othe, cokh khula rakha jaina. Mukher samne khabar niyeo khaoya jaina. Amar jibon tao murovhumir jhorer agahte osprisso hoye geche, dora chuyar baire cole geche. Nishi rat Baka chad, chupi chupi R gaan gaina, Ganer pakhi seto ekti bochor hoye geche, amake opekkhai rekhe cole geche. Etai amar niyoti, sob mene niyechi. Opekkhai korchi. Matro to ekta bochori gelo. Aei poth sesh hote onek deri, ami jani ammu. Ami ashbo . . . amar j r kichui valo lagena. Bachte hobe bolei beche thaka, bochor ghure fire dekha. 

Valo thakuk sobai. Sobar jonno valokichu kore jaoyar broto niyei to pore achi. Seita hok familyr jonno, kingba tumar jonno. Sobai valo thako, bidai 2017 :'(

4

05.12.2017

Onekdin pore ashlam. Koto kichu gote jai, koto srity ashe jai cintai cetonai, tar kichui bola hoina. Khub besi sick na hole, asole Amar Dinguli vasha khuje paina. Shudui paliye beracchi, tai ekhane dora diteo mon sai deina.

Goto kichudin dore kub sick ami. Tarsathe mon tao vishon kharap. Tumar sathe share korte jai, kintu tumi to sei tumi nei etai mone thakena. Sei jonnoi bolte jeyeo fire ashi barebar. Jokhoni valo ekta mon niye goto koek mashe giyechi tumar kache, tumar kotha kingba kucha amake r o mormahoto kore amari adhar jibone achre feleche.

Khub tension e achi. Tumar cintar sathe r ekta cinta jug hoyeche. Ammu cole jaoyar pore basai khub jamela jache, ami ekhan theke kichui korte parchina. Shudu shune jai, r amar pressure er lokocuri khela kheli. Tumake bolle hoyto ektu relife petam, sei sujug tumi daona. Tumake bolbo keno - emon kothao bolte charona amake!

Mojar bisoy ki jano, ekhono sei paglamigolo amar majh theke jaini. Age bole kortam paglami, r ekhon bolar to way nei, sei jonnoi niribili paglami kore nijei abar bichanai pore thaki. Tumi amake hurt kore kotha bolo, r ami ager motoi kaj kori, shudu bola hoina. Na kheye kingba na rest niyei cole jai poroborti muhurtogolo. Jai hok, kosto deyar jonnoi to ami achi, R tumi dite didha korona. Kosto deya neya niyei amar jibon colbe. Page_of_sorrow hobe kivabe amar dinguli.

Ekta year kete gelo taina babu. Tumar kache hiseb nei, R amar kache potita din hoye ache ek ek ta bochor. Ki dusshoho dinguli amake opohar diyechile, ekhono diccho. Cokher samne theke amar sopnogolo kere niye amader sopnoke tumar ekar sopno kore niyechile. Santona dite jeye ekbaro vaboni keno oke niye ami emon korchi, ami to oke cini, ami to jani amar jonno o ki korte pare. Na eto vaboni, vabar ecchei chilona, taito aj tumar din kete jai kono hiseb chara. R amar, se to bollami.

Ami k kingba ami kemon korchi, ta ask kori ami nijeke. Kokhono kokhono answer paina, tokhon mone hoi ami budhoi asolei sonnashi hoye gelam. Eto porisrom koreo, buker vitor eto kosto niye kingba sorire bethar cinho niyeo tumar kachei sokol sukh pai. Tumar deya santona dekho aj amake kothai ene daar koriyeche. Tao pratthona, tumi valo thako.

Sedin bolechila, 20 years keno 10 years o bachar somvabona nei amar. Hoyto tumi thik. Amar jekono din saak cole ashte pare. Aeivabe more theke beche thaki kingba sotti e cole jai, sorbabosthai bolbo, babu tumi valo thako. At least tumi sukhi hou amader majh theke.

Amar ekla jibon, aei vindeshe cole jabe. Ekhane taka hole sob paoa jai, so cole jabe ekhon jemon jacche. Shudu caoa ektai, tumake emon valobasha jeno sesh muhurto porjonto bese jete pari. Ektai amar tumi chile jake valobeshe sob charte pari, ta jeno sesh somoi porjonto proman kore jete pari.

Valo thako Babu, Onek valobashi tumake ajo. Kolijar tukra to tumi, valibashi tai ettogula :-)

3

08.10.2017

Onekdin por ashlam. Amake jhor elemelo kore diyeche. Jhorer aghate ami aj r o mritoprai. Janina aei nishtur prithibi amake niye keno emon korche. Sob kosto golo shudu amar jonnoi budhoi alada kore rakha. Taito eker por ek aghat amake manoshik rugi na baniye charbena. 2010 kingba 2012 teo konodin ki vebechilam aj amake emon ekta din dekhte hobe?

17.09.2017 < Amar ammu prithibi chere cole gelo. Aei prithibite amake niye cinta korar sesh manush tao cole gelo. Amake ekebaresikhor chara kore diye gelo. Aei ekta manusher jonnoi hoyto fire jetam kono ek somoi. Kitu, nah amar kopale Na firai likha hoyto. Sei jonnoi nijer mayer sesh mukh tao dekhte parlam na. Ohh aei j ki kosto, ki tribbo jontrona keo bujbena. Se cole jaoyar por, aei mayer sathe koto onai korechi, kotha shunini, kothar obaddho hoye ekhane cole ashlam. Aj der mash pore se nei, aei kotha likhar jonno budhoi :'(

Amar ammur kotha bolte gele ekta boi e sesh hoe ki? Ekta manush kotto porisrom korte pare tar sontander valo rakhar jonno, ta dekhechi potiniyoto. Kaj korte korte sorire eto ruger basha baniyechilo j seshe kono owshud e kaj kortona. Shunechi tana ghumato owshud kheye, last jedin amar sathe video call e kotha hoi, sedin clear dekhte parini. Janalar opposite side e boshechilo khate, ak adhar oboyob dekhechi. Sesh dekhatao clear chilona, ohhh Allah ami j r parina :'(

Nijer sorir tao edaning valo jacchena. Gonogono problem hocche, aj aeita kal aeita.Amar to ekhoni owshud khete valo lagena, tai budhoi problem golo barche. Tao mone thakle khai, amake mone koriye debar manushtao nei. Oi j 2 jon manushi chilo, amake niye cinta korto. Tarao nei, amaro oguchalo jibon colche elemelo vabei. Vebechilam doctor dekhabo. Tarpore kajer cape R noito doctor er nam nile sorir valo hoi, pore abar sei. Aeivabe jacche, kaj r mon kharaper jontro, ami.

Onek kotha likhar chilo aj. Kintu, likhte boshlei matha theke sob hariye jay. Tumar kotha! Nijeke niye hoyto valoi acho. Hoyto bolchi karon ager moto kotha bola hoina, tai kothar marpeche kichui ber hoina. Ohh ekta kotha mone porlo. Kichudin agei jante parle amar sei accident er kotha. Mojar bisoy, abar sei sondheho tumar mone. Kintu, nah ami r kichui tumake proman korte caibona. Onek to hoyeche, eker por ek proman diye ki peyechi? Santona kingba du-shopno. Jar nirmom porinoti aj amar jibon.

Khub bolte ecche kore, tumar ki ektu lojja hoina amake ekhono obissash korte? More geleo hoyto sobaike ask korba, asolei ki se moreche? Vaggish sedin ami thakbona, aei drissotao dekhte. Old memory vhulte giye nijer sotta k fele diyecho. Tao valo, tumi valo acho. Aei sudur mile dure, ekhono to aei ektai prottasha kore jai.

Sarakkhon mathai gure berao, etto dakadakir shobdo tumake chui na. R tai ami nijei nijer sathe kotha boli, ager sms pori, buk pocket e tumar chobi niye guru, ektu betha pele ohhh babu bole tumake daki, bed e shuye babu amake joriye doro bole kanna kori, sob ami eka ekai kore jai. Amar sei ekaki onuvhuti golo tumake chuina, tumi acho digital life with analog home life niye. Jake etto valobashi, jar jonno koster pahar nieyo hashi mukhe bolte pari, babu valo achoto, tar jonno noyto emon vabei life cole jak. Aei achi, valo achi. Sukhi hok se.

Tumi, Ammu amake maf kore dio. Tumader kosto diyechi bolei aj ami return pacchi. Ta chara r kono answer paina. R tai eta vebei nijeke santona dei. Hmm tumar moto santona dite parina, taito kostogolo majhe majhe bicchinno kore fele tumar kach theke. Owshud kheye abar fire ashi, abar valo thakar ovinoy korte, tumar valo thaka life dekhte.

Matha vonvon korche. Ki likhechi etokhon nijeo jaina. Shudu jani, ami valo nei. Din k din klanto hoye porchi. Amake ami hariye felchi shudu . . . .

2

01.09.2017

Dekhte dekhte almost 3 mash hoye gelo. Aei ek odvhut jibone nijeke maniye nicchi. Potiniyoto kajer majhe nijer asol ostitto k nijei osikar korchi. Aj eto dure ese srity er patagolo shudu dirgonissash hoye ase thik moner majkhan theke. Ceye dekhi opolok r nijei boli, aei jibon to amar noi, amake deya hoyeche.

Rat din somane kaj kore jaoya R pain killer kheye beche thakar sarthokota kothai? Nijer exam nijei deoya? Hmm hoyto sei jonnoi din par hoye mas, tarpore bochor gure hudu mone koriye dibe, aei exam diye jetei hobe. Ekahne asar somoi nijeke thokanur apran cesta korechilam, deshe thekei to ami na thakar moto thakte partam. Kintu, nah answer ashlo, deshe thakle hoyto abar paglami kore tumake tumar moto thakte deya hobena. Jani, bolba ebar to ami ager motoi nei. Kintu, tao jani ami hoyto ektu holeo achor felte partam. Nijer jonno noi, abaro tumar kotha vebe cole elam dure. Jani coward bolba or ajaira dhong. Tumi jemon tumake jano, amio amake buji. Shuru thekei jei paglami, tar sesh hoini ekhono. R noito keo eto taka koroch kore ese emon ekta life kataina. Tao sosthi pai, take tar moto thakte dite perechi aei vebe.

1

20.07.2017

Desher baire pa bariyechilam musafirer moto. NIjeo jantam amar gontobbo ki, amar jonno asole ki opekkha korche. Desher baire ashatai chilo oddessho and hoyeche. Shudu ovinoy theke mukti caichilam. Ektu valo kore kostogolo opovug korte ceyechilam. Opovug!!! Hmm koster majheo sukh ache jokhon kosto deya manushta hoi valobashar manush. “Jiteo j here jai sei eto asol bijoyi” onekta seirokom. Take jitiye diye ami ekhane ese nijeke bijoyi vabte ceyechilam. Kintu, nah. Matha vorti eto eto srity amake kore tolche r o osostho.

Shohor theke onek dure achi ami. Ekhane aeigoloke gram bole, jodio eta amader desher ekta city er moto. Niribili, sob kichu koto guchanu. Shudu groom ta onek beshi. Normal temperature 40 degree er opore. Aei goromei amake sei vor theke sondha obodhi baire kaj korte hoi. Sorir tar vitore jei koila jolche, aei tapeo sei koilar kichui hoina. Minus Minus naki Plus hoi, tobe eteo ki ektu thanda hote parena sei khoto. Sondhar por room e ese ranna banna and tarpor jokhon ghumanur kotha, amar tokhon bichanai epash opash kore rat kate. Aj almost ek mash hoyeche, ekti din o tana 3 gonta ghumate parini. Cokher niche kalo dag pore geche, sorrier kotha nai ba bollam. Taka nei tai net o kinte parchina. Mash seshe beton pele hoyto kinte parbo. Kotodin Babur sathe kotha hoina. Mobile e call dibo vebechilam kintu, Jodi mobile silent na thake tobe to problem hobe. Aei vebe pichiye esechi onekbar. Ashar somoi valo kore kothao bolte parlam na.Othocho se jokhon desher baire jai, koto kotha, koto promise, koto kanna, koto asha niye kotha hoyechilo. Amar belai shudu shunnota, solpota . . .

FB te dukte parchina. Coz wifi diye ashle Jodi ID tar problem hoi, sei voye wait korchi nijer net connection er jonno. Jani, ami ashar pore amar jonno ami jototoko tumake vebechi, tar 10% o tumi vaboni. Vabar somoi kothai tumar. Koto cena manush, koto frnd, koto anonder opolokkho tumar. R aj dekho, amake tumi ek bicchinno dip baniye diyecho. Amar kono frnd nei, poricito munush nei. Amar sob kotha bolar manush ekjoni ekhon. Aei diary, amar dinguli. Jekhane likhbo bole ashi onek kotha, pore kichu bolei likhar r kichu khuje paina. Sob kotha jeno tumi kere niyecho, shudu digosash kingba hotasha golo amake diye gecho. Tao valo anondotoko to tumi niyecho. Happy thako, sobaike happy rakho.

R koekdin pore ekhan theke cole jabo. Tumar r o kache. R o koster kaje. Dekhi, ami koto porisrom korte pari, koto kosto tolerate korte pari. Aei jibon to eto sohoje jabena. Kata diye kata tulte hoi Jodi tobe kosto diyei koster jibontar nash hobe. Tumi dekho, hotat kore 1 year aei diary er buke r o kono likha ashbena. Tokhoni buje niba, oboseshe amar nash hoyeche. Tumake r kosto deyar keo nei. Ami joto ososthoi thakina keno, amar koster kingba japito jiboner rosh tumi ekhanei khuje paba. Shudu pran na thaklei aei amar dingulir somapti hobe.

Bed e shuye chilam ghumanur jonno. Nah, ghum tao kere niyecho tumi amar. Tumar sob kichui ekhon amar. Kosto, ghum, nirob kanna, amar sompotti ekhon. Othe bose abol-tabol likhchi R wait korchi Fazar er azan er jonno. Namaj porei cole jabo kaje. Abar jokhon kostogolo amake hash-pash korbe, ashbo chute amar dingulite. Depression katanur aei ekta way khula ache amar jonno. Dekhi samne ki hoi. Abar ashbo janate, jani setao hotashar deo hoye achre pore amar dingulir buke.

Valo thako babu. Sobaike valo rakho. Miss u so much. Love u a lot.